I had a conversation with one of my best friends today about how to focus on what we want, at middle age. When we are young, this is an easy thing to accomplish because there are some parameters for activities such as job, training, children which must be done within certain time restrictions or they become too difficult. Women who wait till their early 40's often find this out because getting pregnant becomes less easy then, and the risks for the child might be higher in many cases.
But in your mid to late fifties, most of those decisions are over, and if you have no mate, no distractions of thinking for a family, you only have you to think about -- and that can be difficult. Caregivers and parents have spent years thinking about others, and with divorce, death of spouses, and empty nests, the focus shifts to self. As we discussed this subject, it became clearer that leading with "what do I want" and not "what must I do, or who must I support" can be a tricky proposition if you've been out of the habit of thinking that way for decades. But think that way, we must, lest we become stagnant, confused, or immobile.
In our discussion, we figured out that we must move toward something, and not think in default mode about what we "have to" do. New focus on our singular wants sets the ground for expanding thoughts and then forward movement. So we agreed to concentrate upon that for the next two weeks and get back to each other with our new personal focus, and share the reasons and goals of possible direction. I look forward to these discussions with her, and the possibility of releasing any stale operational methods we have acquired over the years about always being responsible, and never dreaming of just what we want. Dream on, moving toward the second half of life's adventures is the battle cry of baby boomers, and a good one at that. No restrictions on thought, and no restrictions on spiritual movement.
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