RE: crap evo construction=crap summer
As far as I know, Starboard construction is OK; I own a '06 wood Sonic and it's super solid, and a '06 D-RAM Evo and it seems even tougher. I reckon I am not sailing WA, but I use both boards and they don't even give an hint of a possible failure. As for straps, that's strange, because the '06 (stock production) fittings make it just impossible for the straps to twist.
My guess is that your board could be a lightweight proto. You should check with the team rider that sold it, or at least say clearly how the initial weight was like. If your board is not a production one, of course the Starboard dealer is not supposed to take care of it directly.
Nevertheless, you bought it from a Starboard team rider, so someone that is supposed to act as a Starboard "ambassador" and is connected to the manufacturer. Therefore IMHO Starboard is at least morally obliged to stand behind their team rider and help; unless the team rider made it perfectly clear to you that you were purchasing a "special" lightweight item, and unless of course warranty is void due to other reasons such as bad usage.
Just my thought and what I'd expect from the manufacturer.